I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
