I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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