Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
