have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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