Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
there is puke in my bra ... again
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