Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
