my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
