I want to have your abortion
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
