I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
