There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
