I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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