i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize