K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
