omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
