R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
