i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
