Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
