I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
