if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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