Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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