my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize