THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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