Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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