what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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