i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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