I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
