I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Buhtt sex?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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