At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I touched a dick in church today
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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