i just google imaged poop.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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