I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
