after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
