It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
