So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
