i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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