i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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