haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
