Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
