I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
