well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize