I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
