I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my poor anus
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
