Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's never too late to be topless.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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