I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize