dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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