Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
