You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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