I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
