dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
