that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
