He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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