so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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