I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
