I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
