If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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