make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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