haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
