I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
