What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
