Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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