put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm jealous of your bromance
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
