so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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