I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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