and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
